"Sophie's not really interested in having sex anymore..." said Jack, his body-language and tone following, as the conversation changed course. We'd been catching up over drinks. Six months is a long time for busy guys, but although unexpected, this wasn't surprising. Jack was only confiding this relationship secret to me because he wanted a solution. But before I reveal that, it's important we take a brief detour...

Everyone knows that honesty is critical for successful dating and relationships. It feels like something you should definitely be doing. But often people don't know why it's important and how to be honest. Without understanding these details, 'honesty' becomes a vague, blurry concept. Actioning it with consistency becomes impossible.

Improvisation is an acting technique that involves no planning - just off the cuff acting. There is no script, no plan, no expectations. You make things up as you go along. I was introduced to improvisation by chance when I attended a random Improvisation meetup group a couple of years ago (I often try out random meetup events on a whim to experiment and see what 'gems' I can uncover).

Some people hardly leave the dating scene in the hope of finding the perfect person. As time goes by they learn exactly what they like and build a very specific image of the person they want to meet. They are quick to end things and move on when they realise someone doesn't match this ideal. On the other end of the spectrum, some people marry the only person they've ever been with.

I want to talk about a mindset that I discovered that is incredibly beneficial in building self-confidence and that ability to just express yourself without thinking too much. I discovered it when I was travelling around South East Asia (including Bali in Indonesia) and staying in hostels. If you have ever stayed in a hostel you know what kind of a social melting-pot those places are. Random people arriving and leaving daily, random conversations, very receptive and friendly people.

If I gave you one minute to identify all the confident people in a room, how would you do it? Whilst charisma, body language and social-proof are rich areas for clues, almost nothing beats the immediate, penetrating sign of a loud voice. How can it be so simple?...

In the world of dating, there is one thing that we can all agree on – there is so much advice out there. (And here is some more). There is some that I agree with and some that I don’t agree with. One piece of advice that falls into the latter category is that you must ‘play hard to get’ to attract the other. This boils down to holding back your expression of appreciation and love for fear of being perceived as ‘needy’.

Failure is required for mastery. It sounds cliche but, trust me, its perfectly logical. The two are inseparable. There can be no substantial growth without failure. To achieve mastery you must consistently find your edge, your growth zone - the space just outside your comfort zone. In this zone, our current abilities are tested, and often found wanting. The growth zone provides us with the pressure we need to adapt. Constant adaptation over the long-term results in mastery.

A lot of our clients come to us with the desire to become more confident, especially in their dating and social lives. No wonder – we talk a lot about confidence and we all know how valuable it is. But we don’t talk so much about courage. That is a shame. Courage may turn out to be more important than confidence.